


Isn't Something Missing?

by SakumiYukime



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternative Reality where the castle exists, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Quantum Abyss (Voltron), Quantum Abyss aftermath, Self Confidence Issues, Sharing a Bed, kinda after season 6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-07 14:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16409978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakumiYukime/pseuds/SakumiYukime
Summary: While in the Quantum Abyss, Keith perceived endless flashes of his past and future in no particular order.The ones from his past, in a way, were easier to deal with. He knew where they fit and what they meant.Keith couldn't say the same about the future ones.They were scattered across the days, bits and pieces with no context or meaning. He noticed someone missing in most  of them, but it wasn't like everyone was  always together.It's when a mission is compromised, months later, that he is suddenly very aware why Lance was missing in his future.





	1. Prologue

_Keith recoils in surprise when the alarm begins to blare in his ears, the sound deafening.  Shouts follow, “Pidge! Something’s wrong!”_

_There’s a heavy feeling in his chest, making it harder to breathe, crushing him from inside._

_The alarms ring inside his head, telling him, warning him that something’s wrong._

_His heart skips a beat as the fear floods.  The despair, cringing to his throat and leaving him breathless._

_Something’s wrong, his head screams._

_“Keith!” He registers Shiro’s voice, but before he can finish his sentence, Keith’s legs begin to move._

_“Already on it!” He shouts back, running inside the base.  He slams his hand against another control panel, rushing across them the moment the doors open._

_The feeling of danger never leaves, staying under his skin, giving him goosebumps._

_He cuts through the security bots, sliding them in two, “Lance? Hunk? Stay inside the database.”_

_“No way Keith! That place was definitely trying to kill us!”_

_“Still is!” Hunk barks._

_He tries to be faster, hoping to reach Hunk and Lance before it’s too late. His mind races across the flashes he somehow remembers from the quantum abyss, desperately trying to find one, just one, where he knows Lance was in._

_Some cross his mind, but all of them already happened._

_He runs faster._


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of swords clashing echoed across the training deck, accompanied by two sets of heavy breathing. They had been training for hours, swords violently confronting each other again and again, until their arms grew tired and their movements weary.

Lance’s swordsmanship skills had evolved a lot ever since he began to train with Keith. He was a fast learner, picking up stances and move patterns easily, even if he still had a long way to go. Nevertheless, such a negligible detail wouldn’t stop him from trying to show off as much as possible.

Keith took notice of the way Lance gripped his sword, the change in his stance followed by the grin in his face, making it obvious that he was planning something.

He didn’t mind. Not at all. It was actually interesting and quite refreshing -  Lance’s ability to adapt to situations. To change and turn the tides in his favor.

Impressive, yet annoying.

To have him brag about it for hours, sometimes even for the entire day. So - and as much as Keith enjoyed Lance’s spontaneous outbursts. He would _never_ dare to admit that to him.

Keith always did his best to parry or dodge Lance’s attacks whenever possible, using the couple more years of training he had in sword fighting to his advantage.

Sometimes it was enough.

Sometimes it wasn’t.

Lance’s grin flashed in front of his purple eyes. Both his hands had a tight grip on the red sword’s handle, the hilt close to his upper body, the blade pointing straight at Keith.

Suddenly, he was sprinting. Fast. Almost too fast for Keith’s eyes to catch the movement. He watched him materialize in from of him.

So fast, yet so slow. It felt like he could see anything and everything. The glint in Lance’s eyes, the way the muscles in his arms flexed before they stretched forward in a deadly blow. Keith dodged, stumbling back, almost losing his balance and falling to the floor.

Lance, however, took this to his advantage, not allowing Keith a moment to rest, ready to take him down and win the fight.

“Is everything alright?” The words brought him back to reality, the images in his mind suddenly disappearing, “You seemed a bit out of it for a moment there…” He dropped his stance as he spoke, approaching Keith carefully as he continued, “We could take a break if you’re feeling tired. We’ve been at this for hours…”

“No, I’m fine,” He took a deep breath, ignoring the nauseous feeling that always followed, “It was nothing.”

“You remembered something, didn’t you?” Lance offered, reading him like an open book. He had been doing that a lot lately.

Lance hesitated for a moment, blue eyes staring at Keith carefully, analyzing if he should continue, “Was it… bad?”

Keith shook his head, his black locks to blinding him temporarily, “It was nothing.”

They all knew about it.

That during the two years Keith had spent in the quantum abyss, he had witnessed various flashes of his past and future. They all knew he didn’t remember most of them, the bits and pieces too fragmented and disorganized, to mean anything.

For two long years, Keith had seen, without any particular order, glimpses of what was to come. Most of those foreights hadn’t meant a thing when he saw them, too bare and out of context to make sense, to stay in his mind. It was as if seeing spoilers of a show he had never seen, and not registering them. Yet, after watching said show, given a needed context - the moment things start to happen - those fragmented pieces fall into place, and he just knows.

That, they didn’t know about.

It had started a couple of weeks after he rejoined the team. At first, he barely noticed it, but then the flashes started to become longer and more frequent, normally triggered by something familiar in his surroundings, emotions or even words.

What set it off could be one of his friends talking, a laugh, sometimes a particular gesture.

Shiro had been the first one to notice that something was up. At the time, Keith himself wasn’t sure what was happening. He figured whatever was going on wasn’t worth worry him, who already had enough to deal with.

After all, most times what he saw was nothing serious - flashes of him and his friends hanging out, preparing for battle, discussing strategies for missions, training or bonding.

Still, Keith had had a couple of bad bones too with perceptions that would leave him in the edge of a dream and a nightmare, uncertain if it was a memory of the future, or just a figment of his own imaginations.

He hated those the most.

And as the time went by, this flashes only got worse.

Lance had been the next one to notice, efficiently figuring out that something was wrong. The red paladin carefully had chosen a moment when Keith was alone and, at the glint of worry in his eyes, Keith was unable to lie, “ _I’m not sure what’s going on either… But…”_ He remembers taking a deep breath, mentally trying to figure out how he was going to explain what he thought was happening without sounding like he was going insane. He wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case, though. “ _I think I’m starting to remember the stuff I saw when I was in the quantum abyss._ ” Keith admitted between a heavy sigh, “ _Words, sometimes it’s a particular gesture that will trigger a memory._ ”

Blue eyes glazed carefully, but their owner said nothing, waiting for Keith to go on, to find the words to say everything he needed to, “ _I’m starting to be able to put some of them into place… and know what’s going to happen.”_

“ _So you can basically see the future, now?_ ” Curiosity won.

“ _I guess… Something like that…_ ”

Their conversation didn’t progress much further. It didn’t take long for Keith to realize Lance hadn't told anyone about it either. He was surprisingly grateful for that. The blue paladin probably figured this was Keith’s business, and he would bring it to light with the team when he thought it was time - if he thought it was time.

In a way, Lance was the only one that knew about it.

Purple eyes drifted upwards, finding Lance’s blue ones staring back with wary. When they made eye contact, he smiled slightly, the ghost of a smirk peering in his lips, “Well, if you’re ok then I guess you'll have no problem dodging this!”

As soon as words sounded Lance pushed forward with a perfect stance, maintaining the right balance and speed without ever losing his grip on the sword.

It was playful, yet not less fierce.

Keith had seen it before. The small battle cry that left Lance’s lips, the glint in his eyes, the sweat falling down his forehead, the way his muscle arms flexed.

He remembered how Lance had managed to overthrow him, making him stumble down and lose his footing. He knew what he would do, and he knew what he had to do.

Keith stood his ground, eyes focused on Lance, watching his every move while waiting for the right moment to strike. The blue paladin advanced, moving as precisely as gracefully,  just as he had seen, sword in position and ready to attack.

The strike was strong, but Keith managed to perry it with ease. Their eyes met just a second before their swords clashed again. Lance was in front of him, the determination in his features making a bell sound in Keith's mind.

He attacked again, and this time Keith dodged, making Lance launch himself into empty air. He turned around a smirk on his lips, certain he had managed to overthrow the foresight he had witnessed.

Lance was in the ground, already facing Keith, looking anything but defeated. He moved fast, extending one of his legs in the direction of Keith's ankle, hitting easily and making the raven-haired boy lose his footing.

He stumbled backward, taking a couple of steps back until he could hold his stance again. Lance had jumped to his feet again, getting up fast enough to make use of Keith's opening.

He was already launching an attack when the alarms rang above them.

They halted their movements, both looking to the alarm like that would clarify the reason why it had blared.

Surprisingly it did, since Allura’s voice sounded the moment the alarm stopped, “Lance, Keith. Please report to the bridge.”

They exchanged glances, but Keith was the one that answered, “We're on our way, Princess.”

 

* * *

 

When they arrived, everyone was already on the bridge waiting for them. Lance lifted his hand as a greeting as he entered the bridge.

“What’s going on?” Keith asked. Allura turned around, eyes leaving the holographic screen for the first time to meet them.

“Good. You’re here.” Was all she said.

“I have important news from the blades,” Another female voice rang right after. Keith recognized it right away.

Krolia was watching them both, looking ready for business. Still, Keith didn’t miss the soft look when their eyes met.

Like it was a greeting just for him.

Whatever was happening had to be important.

Lance seemed to catch up on that too, “What news?” His voice was serious, a simple hint of curiosity in it, prompting Krolia to continue.

The blade looked around, making sure everyone was listening. “As you all know, after Zarkon’s death the empire split into factions controlled by the stronger commanders. Even if alone these factions don’t hold much power, without a mastermind, their attacks are more unpredictable.”

Pidge hummed, “So far our biggest problem isn’t taking those factions down, but knowing where they are and what they are up to.”

“Exactly. However, the blades might have found a way around this problem.”

Krolia found seven intrigued pairs of eyes staring back at her. “We’ve received reports from one of our infiltrated members. We already had reasons to believe in the existence of this place, but we didn’t know for sure.”

“What place?” Shiro asked the question crossing everyone’s minds.

“I’m sure you’ve all wondered how galra databases remained synchronized throughout the empire.”

Pidge hummed, Hunk nodded, but Lance’s voice was the one heard, “No. Not really!”

“There is a top-secret base where all the information is sent for storing and backups, so if something went wrong the information would not be lost.”

“So… You’re basically saying that all the secrets of the galra empire are in one place?” Hunk intervened skeptically **.**

“Not all.” The blade enlightened, “But information about cruisers routes and other logs may be enough for us to find a pattern.” Krolia approached the control panel, typing something in the keypad and making various images and information show up on the screen.

“As you can imagine, this place is top secret even amongst the more ranked officers of the empire. Many don’t know about this base even now.” The image of the base appeared in above all others, “We had suspicions that this place existed for decafeebs, but only now did we received a clear confirmation. Among with crucial information about its location,”

“There’s still something that I’m not understanding.” Pidge voice called their attention, and soon everyone was looking at her, “When Zarkon was ruling, it would make sense for them to keep the backups updated. The whole empire had to have a way to keep their systems working, but now?... With every galra by itself and these factions created?... There’s no point in updating the database.”

Krolia smiled knowingly, “Indeed, what you said is true. However, most of these synchronizations happen automatically, and with many galra commanders not even knowing of the existence of the place, many backups are still underway. From the galra that _did know_ about this base, few had enough knowledge or resources to deactivate the backup system.”

The smaller paladin seemed more convinced, “Ok… but even so… Wouldn’t those that know at least try to find a way around it. They’d be at a huge disadvantage if someone got their hands on the information from this database.”

“Yes, but the place is heavily guarded. The entire database has its own defensive mechanisms that run without interference from external sources.”

“Oh man… How advanced is that thing?”

“And we’re supposed to breach the security of that?!” Pidge sounded both excited and terrified.

“Kolivan and I believe that if anyone can access the information would be Voltron,”

“Great…”

Keith looked at Lance, finding him looking as confused as he felt. Shiro was standing next to them, a hand resting on his hip as he asked, “If we managed to retrieve this information,”

Krolia seemed to understand the question as soon as he spoke, answering immediately, “With this information, and with an organized attacked from Voltron, the blades and the rebels, the blow delivered could be enough to end the war.”

“Then we must!” Allura declared easily, “This information is the best bet we’ve had in this war ever since the battle against Zarkon.”

 

* * *

* * *

  

_“Keith,”  He hears Shiro’s voice, his breath brushing against his ears and neck, making a chill run down his spine._

_He doesn’t make an effort to look at him. He doesn’t have the energy to. He can’t bring himself to._

_“Keith, please-” Shiro’s voice begs him, “Don’t blame yourself.”  Keith looks at him then, raising his head from his hands to stare at Shiro’s grey eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.”_

_The words are said softly, falling out of Shiro's lips slowly, as if that would allow them to sink deeper. As if the way he spoke could help the other paladin understand something he was missing._

_It doesn’t work. Keith has never felt more guilty._

_“I could’ve-” His voice is unsurprisingly rough. Keith is sure he had been crying for hours. He doesn't really know how long they had allowed him to stay in his room before Shiro decided to show up. Decided to comfort him._

_It wasn't working._

_“I should’ve- He- I was right there, Shiro!” His voice keeps cracking. He doesn’t know where his reasoning was going. It’s impossible to hide the despair in his words or the fear from his tone. “I could’ve prevented it,”_

_Keith openly admits. He made a fatal mistake._

 

* * *

* * *

 

They spent days studying and analyzing what they knew about the base.

It was located in the furthest part of the Iknafor-Gal system, in a gigantic planetary mass. The major problem was: the planet where the base was located was currently being dragged towards a rotating black hole.

Keith could still remember how Pidge’s eyes had widened or how Hunk’s rambling began. Something about spacetime distortions, correcting data, ergosphere and making sure the curvature of time wouldn’t affect their signals.

They continued for almost an entire day like that, Pidge furiously typing on her computer as Hunk stared at the screen both thrilled and terrified.

By the end of the quintent, both of them decided to show up in the bridge again - where Keith, Shiro, Lance, and Allura were gathered - looking completely exhausted.

“That’s not going to work, Shiro,” Allura said easily, “I’ve had the castle run some tests using the intel we have on the security of the base, and we wouldn’t even be able to reach the first floor like that. The more the control room!”

“Well, there has to be a way!” Lance’s fingers zoomed into the map, noticing a weird symbol he hadn't seen before.

“I see you guys aren’t having much luck either!” Hunk’s voice compelled Keith to look towards the door, where he saw both him and Pidge walking in. The smaller paladin, who held her computer under her arm, simply beelined to her seat. “Well, I guess we did have some luck. I think we managed to find a relatively safe route in spacetime that won't, you know…” He did an elucidatory gesture.

“Actually no… I have absolutely no idea!” Lance turned around from the holographic screen, eyebrow raised, a questioning look on his face. That was enough to prompt Hunk to continue.

“So you have this big planet with this gigantic concentrated mass, which pretty much distorts spacetime, but that particular region of space is also being affected by the gravitational pull of the black hole, which means-”

Lance was looking around the room as if trying to figure out if he was the only one lost.

“Don’t bother Lance!” Pidge sighed, “Just some maths, we have a path that is relatively safe. You fly out of place and you’re stretched out to nothing.”

“And I’m guessing that will kill me.”

“Probably,” Pidge looked from the screen for the first time, a smirk on her lips, “But we could try it out if you’re curious!”

“No one is being stretched into nothingness!” Shiro declared from where he stood. Pidge made an effort to look disappointed.

Lance laughed, “Oh, no worries. I’m sure there’s like a thousand more ways to die on this mission!”

 

* * *

 

Turns out, Lance was right in his every word.

If getting inside the base wasn’t going to be an easy task, maneuvering in it - avoiding security and getting the intel - would be complete hell.

“We’ll have to split up in two teams once we’re inside, and watch each other's backs.” Keith made a gesture towards the holographic screen, “One team will go to the control room, and the other to the place where the data is stored”

“I’ll have to go to the control room so I can hack the systems,” Pidge observed.

“And Keith should go with you.” Shiro continued, “He is the only one that can interact with galra tech. You’ll need him nearby.”

“That means me, Lance and Allura go to the database?” Hunk’s brown eyes looked around erratically, “I do _not_ like the sound of that.”

“Yeah… The only route to the database is heavily guarded.”

“If Keith and I reached the control room on the first floor before you guys, I could deactivate some of the security systems… probably?”

Keith gave her a look, but it was Allura who spoke, “It’s our best bet, right now.”

 

* * *

  

It wasn’t hard to fall into a routine.

Day after day, they would gather again, assembling with the purpose of finding answers, yet resigning to the questions that surfaced.

Planning the mission was a constructive process. Deciding what were their best options - who should go inside, who had enough skill and expertise to pilot them there safely. The best lions for the job versus the lions that were needed for certain jobs.

They formulated a strategy for the mission for a thousand times, and for a thousand more, something was still wrong with it.

“Red is the best lion to fly to the planet,” Shiro said as a matter of factly.

“Yeah… But we can’t all go inside the red lion” Hunk countered, “And if anyone can fly _there_ ,” his finger pointed towards the image of the planet nearing the black hole, “It’s Keith!”

Pidge shook her head, hazel locks tangling in front of her glasses, “The black lion is too heavy and big for that. Even Keith wouldn’t stand a chance.” She spared him a glance, “No offense.”

“I’m pretty sure that was a compliment…”

Keith didn’t seem bothered, “What other lions could we take to the base, then?”

“I… I don’t know…” She admitted, “What _I do know_ is that the gravitational pull of the black hole will be too strong for Black to fly to the planet without getting sucked into it.”

“Even if he used the wings” Hunk made a whooshing noise.

“I… I never used the wings like that…”

Lance squinted an eye, “Isn’t there another way to speed up?”

“Unless you have hidden under your sleeves a particle a-” She closed her mouth, eyes bugged out for a split second, “Oh my god! Lance, you’re a genius!”

“I know…”

“Wait! No?… The black hole has to be rotating, and the spin axis has to…” Pidge stormed towards her chair, words dying in her lips, fingers typing furiously in the interface. The others gathered behind her, staring at the screen in awe.

“What are yo- Oh! Oooh! I see what you’re doing!” Hunk beamed, “That’s a great idea!”

Lance did a mocking curtsy, “Thank you!” He straightened soon after, “What is my great idea, though?”

“I can’t believe it! It does work! At least theoretically.”

Keith’s forehead puckered, “What exactly are you two talking about?”

“Alright! So the idea is to use the fact that it’s impossible to stand still in the ergosphere of a rotating black hole, since space itself is being pulled in the same direction as the black hole’s spin, and by approaching it from the right angle, manage to get a boast of speed while redirecting the trajectory towards the planet.” She took a deep breath, diving back into words, “And with that increase of speed it would be possible to win against the gravitational pull of the black hole and reach the planet!”

When Pidge finished, Keith found himself looking around. Searching for an answer in his friend's faces.

Lance was the one to break the silence, “I have absolutely no idea what you’ve just tried to say…”


	3. Chapter 3

_The alarm rings through the castle. The sound is still unbearable, even if he had heard it more times than he can count in the past. His heart is hammering in his chest, beating rapidly against the paladin armor, as he makes an effort to reach the bridge._

_He can barely breathe when he finally reaches his destination. Making a clear effort to even out his breathing, Keith looks around, spotting Shiro and Allura discussing something in front of the control panel._

_“Keith,” Shiro seems surprised, “You got here quickly!”_

_“I was nearby,” It isn't a lie but Keith isn’t being truthful either. If Shiro notices, he doesn’t push it. “What’s going on?” He asks after a while, breathing finally evening out, unlike his heart._

_“We’re picking up a distress signal,” the princess supplies. Her gorgeous eyes travel across the room to meet Pidge and Hunk, who had just decided to show up, both in full paladin armor._

_Lance was late, as usual._

 

* * *

* * *

 

A scream tore through his throat, a name leaving his lips like a prayer.

“Keith? Keith!?”

Those words, his name, were the first call he had to reality.

Purple eyes looked around. Dazed. Lost. Scared.

His breath was erratic as if he had just finished a training session. “Keith. It's ok…” He felt a warm hand on his back, the fingers drawing circles against his skin.

“Lance?” He said the name once more, his voice sounding hoarse and rasp. He was surprised to hear his own voice sound like that, even though he had just woke himself up screaming, “Where? Where am-” The words died out. Realization stroke him, “I'm ok. It was just a nightmare,” Keith said as a matter-of-factly.

“Are you sure it was a _nightmare_?”

Purple eyes looked up, finding worried blue eyes right in front of him. Lance didn't say a word. He didn't push Keith to answer, but they both know the question he was asking.

_What did you saw?_

He didn't know. He didn't see anything, and he couldn't remember what was happening.

Just the fear, the despair cringing to his throat and leaving him breathless.

Nothing but the feeling that something was wrong - His stomach dropping to his knees and before he could grasp what was happening, he was screaming.

He knew he woke up with his own scream. He knew Lance did too.

_He knew he was just too scared to admit that Lance might be right._

“Keith?”

Lance's voice was soft. So soft. As if Keith would break into a thousand pieces if he spoke too loud.

“Did you remember something from the future?” The fear he felt is mirrored in Lance's eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to keep quiet.

Not when they both knew the name he had been screaming.

“I don't know.” Was all he said for a long while. It was all he could say for a long time. He tried to think about what had happened, he tried to remember why he had screamed. What had happened.

But just like waking up from a dream, his memories are shattered into pieces he couldn't put back together.

He pulled his knees closer, hiding in them while wrathing his arms around himself. Keith had a pretty good idea of how desperate Lance must be to know what he had seen. What could he have possibly witnessed that was terrible enough to make him scream like that.

Yet, Lance didn't push, didn't ask more questions. He simply waited, eyes never leaving Keith's own violet ones.

Keith wanted to tell him everything. He would endure reliving whatever he saw again if it would stop Lance from looking at him like that. But, he only remembered how it felt. He didn’t see anything, instead, he felt everything. “I don't know.”

Keith was surprised when his voice didn’t come out as harsh as before, only weak, “I only remember feeling-” A deep breath, “It felt so real. Like I was there.”

The other paladin was silent for what seemed like an eternity.

If it wasn't for his hand trailing patterns against Keith's back, he would have thought Lance had already left.

“I think we should tell the others.” Keith looked up, eyes wide in surprise, “If this is some weird side effect of that quantum abyss place, maybe Coran can help? Or Pidge could know something? Allura’s magic?” He sounded more confused and insecure with every word. “Look. I just think… You can't keep going like this… We should tell the others.”

“There's no need to worry everyone with just a dumb nightmare…”

Because he really hoped it was just a nightmare. A really really bad one, but a nightmare nonetheless.

“Keith!” Lance tried once more, harsher this time, “I know you don’t want to worry them,”

“Lance,”

“You woke up screaming as if you were being torn apart thanks to something that could possibly happen in the future!” He took notice in the back of his mind, that his voice was rising, but he couldn’t keep the bite away from his words. Not when Keith stubbornly continued to carry everything on his back, “We’ve both seen Pidge, Allura, even Hunk do weirder stuff!” His arms rose, making Keith wrath himself into something smaller, “They could help you understand what’s real and what’s not. If you continued like this, you’re going to drive yourself mad not knowing.”

Keith continued to hide in his knees, rilling up Lance, “Keith. Look at me!”

He did, making Lance instantly regret his plea.

Keith looked exhausted, purple eyes dim and scared. Lance wondered if he was going to start crying. He wouldn’t be surprised if he did.  

The blue paladin took a deep breath. He knew fully well Keith needed help, that that conversation was needed.

But not right now.

“Sorry.” He stood up a bit too fast, feeling dizzy the second he got to his feet. “I shouldn-” Lance hesitated, stopping himself before he could start to ramble an apology, “You need to rest. Get some actual sleep. We’ll talk some other time.”

He was an idiot for continuing to push Keith when he had just woken up from a nightmare bad enough to make him scream like that.

_Stupid. So stupid._

His feet couldn’t have carried him faster, away from everything.

Cold fingers circled around his wrist, tightly keeping him at his arm’s length. Efficiently keeping him from moving away. “Please, don’t leave,”

The words were so soft he wondered if he had imagined them, yet when he turned around and saw the fear in those purple eyes, he knew he had heard it right.

 

* * *

 

Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised to find himself where he was right now. Yet, for some incomprehensible reason, Lance felt like he would’ve never seen this one coming.

Never, in a million years, did he thought he would end up sitting on Keith’s bed, his back to the headboard, his legs under the sheets.

Keith had dozed off hours ago, his breathing had evened out, and his face seemed to relax. He was curled onto his side, turned to where Lance was, constantly leaning towards the warmth he certainly felt there.

Lance’s hand was still resting against Keith’s scalp, rubbing circles near the back of his neck, moving to his hair, playing the longer tresses of hair, combing through them.

He sighed, letting his hand fall. Keith had asked him to stay, sounding so small and scared. When Lance didn’t immediately comply, he had asked again, sounding on verge of begging, too frightened to stay alone.  

_Just for a moment. Just for a second. Don’t go. Just until I-_

It pained Lance to see him like that. To hear him sound like that - It wasn't like he to sound like that. To let other see him like that.

Lance hadn't answered, simply dropping back to the bed, letting Keith curl next to him. Listening to his every word of thanks, quieting down only when Lance started to pet his head.

He hadn’t fallen asleep, he couldn’t. Even if he wanted to, the only thing he felt was his heart hammering against his ribcage, keeping him surprisingly aware of what was happening. He knew, logically, that Keith had asked him to stay because he needed someone there, a call to reality, a warmth in the cold void of his misplaced dream.

Yet, he couldn’t help but pretend that Keith wouldn’t have told anyone to stay. That somehow, this had to do with him.

Another deep breath, hoping this one could prompt his heart to slow down. It didn't.

Lance knew he would have to leave before his mind decided to imagine words that weren’t there.

A soft whine reached his ears, making him look to the side. Unsurprisingly he found Keith.

Keith, curling onto himself more. Keith, leaning closer to his fallen hand as if begging for Lance to resume his caresses.

And Lance was a weak man.

 

* * *

 

 

When Keith waked up, he was surprised to find Lance is still there. Lying on his back, one arm thrown above his head, the other surprisingly close to Keith.

Any other time, he would’ve probably been at least astonished to find someone sleeping next to him - in his room, in his bed - as if they belonged there. Yet, right now - after feeling all that despair from something he couldn’t even remember - Keith was glad to have Lance right there. Sleeping peacefully next to him.

He’d never felt so relieved to know, the second he woke up, that it had been nothing but a dream.

A smile peered across his lips, solace and happiness mixing into his features freely. His eyes wandered, studying Lance’s dozing figure. The rise and fall of his chest, the messy locks of hair, the constant thuds of his beating heart.

Purple eyes widened, disbelief written all over Keith’s pale face for a moment. He reached forward, picking up the oversized paper hanging near Lance’s legs. The moment Keith looked at it, he had no doubts what it was.

He knew he had brought the mission’s plans to his room to take a look the other day. Lance must have found them while Keith was asleep. Near them, further from the edge of the bed, was Keith’s orange table - where he had the rest of the documentation and information about the upcoming mission.

If Keith hadn’t been sure by then, he was as soon as he unlocked the tablet’s screen.

Lance had been looking at the plans. He had taken a look at what Keith had been working on, adding a couple more annotations, empathizing some important points, dismissing unimportant ones.

Keith found himself wondering how many hours it had taken him to fall asleep. By the looks of it, it seemed like he wasn’t planning on staying all night, but exhaustion had other plans.

Folding the paper, he placed it above the tablet and leaned over Lance to set both the items on the floor, pushing it slightly under the bed, so none of them would accidentally step on the tablet when they got up.

The castle was still quiet, which was as good as a reason for Keith decide that he could still sleep a couple more hours.

He slid back down, pulling the covers over them, and curled to the side again. His eyes closed, and in the silence, the sound of Lance’s heart became the closest he'd ever had to a lullaby.

Keith wanted to address a couple of things to Lance - about the mission and about his  _nightmare._ About what Lance had told him. But all that could wait.

He should rest a couple more hours for now, and

_Lance had obviously nothing to do with his decision._

 

* * *

* * *

 

_Keith finds himself inside an empty room._

_Actually, the room isn’t empty but for some reason, the more he stays there, the more he has the feeling that the room is bare._

_Something is undoubtedly missing. He doesn’t know what it is, and looking around, taking in the dusty furniture or a perfectly made bed, doesn’t help ease that feeling._

_It feels like no one has lived in that room for ages._

_Keith hears the sound of a door opening behind him. He turns around, only to find himself tackled to the floor by the space wolf. He laughs, petting him eagerly after being licked to exhaustion. The wolf decides to disappear again, leaving Keith laying uncomfortably on the cold floor._

_He is back at the door, wagging his tail and asking for pets to the figure that waits there. Krolia indulges him, petting behind the wolf's ears the way he likes it._

_She looks at Keith, a small yet sad smile on her lips, “I had a feeling I would find you here.”_

_Keith can’t bring himself to reply, but he hums in acknowledgment. She extends her other hand, “Dinner will be ready soon. We should get going.”_

_He takes her hand, and, without giving it much thought, leaves the empty room behind._

 

* * *

* * *

 

Keith thought about it.

What Lance had told him. How he should ask for help.

He hated to admit that he might be right.

Keith couldn’t quite explain why, but in the past week, it felt like his flashes only got more regular and more intense. He couldn't shake away the feeling that something was wrong. That they were planning something wrong. That something would go wrong.

So he picked up the schematics again, taking another look at the outline of their updated plan.

Keith didn’t know what he was looking for. Keith didn’t know if there was even something to look for.

In the back of his mind, he started to register how paranoid he was becoming. He was aware, but he couldn’t help it. Something inside of him was screaming at him to be aware, to rethink, to find out what was wrong.

Lance began to visit more regularly after  _that_ nightmare. Not like Keith was complaining, he appreciated the company even if Kosmo did stay with him most nights as Keith stared holes at the tablet.

He was grateful to have Lance point out when he was looking too much into something and overthinking. In return, he would do the same. He was grateful to have Lance keep him from spacing out, his mind always drifting to the flashes that didn't leave him in peace.

Keith wasn’t a complete idiot. He knew Lance was worried - as if his furrowed eyebrows as he stared at Keith didn’t say everything.

So, the “secret” hadn’t lasted long.

Keith decided to out himself, explain decently what was going on, before he snapped at someone for no reason.

The flashes had him on edge, after all. Leaving him more riled up than usual.

Lance had known that they needed to work this out as a team. He warned Keith about it. Told him he had to open up to the others. Maybe there was something they could do - Pidge, Coran or Allura.

Keith had thought about it. He knew Lance had a point. He knew he couldn’t hide what was going on forever and that one day he could have a flash during an opportune time. It could compromise a mission, or worse.

He told them.

Explained what was happening, starting from the beginning - when he barely even registered he was remembering what he had experienced in the quantum abyss. Keith opted to leave out his worse nightmares, or the restless feeling that something wasn’t right every time he thought about their next big mission.

Pidge seemed excited, but not surprised. As soon as Keith had finished talking, she began to explain to them her theories - Why this was happening, and how she hoped to make it stop, or at least reduce the flashes and their effects.

Coran and Hunk had joined in, both helping out where they could. Allura also had a say in the matter, but she seemed to be content to leave it in Pidge’s hands. The princess was clearly too worried about their upcoming mission.  

Keith couldn't have related more.

 

* * *

 

Even with all their efforts, things didn’t get much better. Pidge quite literally tried everything and Keith was grateful for her persistence. She was forced to give up before achieving her goal - the upcoming mission and what she, and only she, knew how to do becoming an imminent reality Pidge couldn’t avoid anymore.

Nonetheless, she did manage to make the ratio of the flashes stabilize, so he wasn’t complaining.  

The whole thing had also lifted a huge weight from his shoulders. And he should probably thank Lance for that.

Keith’s feet were moving before he could even take notice of where he was going. The mission to the Iknafor-Gal system had been scheduled to take place next week, leaving everyone rushing around, trying to get everything ready and working.

And by everyone, he actually just meant Pidge, Hunk, and Coran. He had the feeling Shiro and Allura were revising the plan, making sure everything worked out the way they expected it to. A part of him wanted to join them.

Another part of him would probably pass out if he laid eyes on those schematics again.

The voice he expected to hear sounded the second he entered the room, even if it didn’t say what he had been expecting to hear, “You guys need help, huh?” Lance began to rise as he turned around, “Guess I don’t have an option then-”

The words died in his throat even if he had said the whole sentence. When he spoke again his voice wobbled, “You’re not Hunk!?”

Keith had to bite down the laugh, “Excellent deduction.” He fired the words at Lance’s suspicious and surprised stare. “Is it that unexpected to see me?”

Lance sighed, finally recovering from his shocked daze, “No. I guess not.” He turned around, sitting back on the floor the same he had been before Keith entered the observatory. “I guess I just wasn’t expecting you of all people to show up here.”  
Keith hummed, undeniably agreeing with Lance.

“I figured you’d be with Shiro and Allura.”

He wasn’t sure how to answer that. A part of him had been begging him to join Shiro and Allura ever since he had walked by the bride and saw them there. A different part of him was just tired of staring at tablets and rethinking a plan that had changed a thousand times and still didn’t seem  _right._

He decided not to answer.

Lance did not invite Keith to join him, but he also didn’t tell Keith to leave.

Keith had no intention of disturbing him, they all knew Lance enjoyed to spend some alone time in the observatory from time to time. He had planned to walk in, voice his intentions and leave.

But things didn’t always go according to plan, and Keith had found himself stuck in place. Frozen still for no apparent reason he could discern.

“Why’re you here anyway?” Suddenly, he felt like his reason was stupid and unnecessary. He should just leave, apologize and leave.

“Are you just going to stand there like a creep?” Keith remained frozen, watching Lance turn around to stare at him. Blue ocean eyes met him, a smile on his face as Lance pat the floor next to him, requesting for Keith to join him.

For the first time since he had entered the observatory, Keith seemed to remember how to move again. He walked up to Lance, sitting on the cold hard floor next to him.

They didn’t say a word single word.

Lance wasn’t saying a single word - he remained quiet, peaceful watching the endless void filled with stars millions of light years away. Keith wasn’t saying anything either - His mind race across his thoughts, reminding him why he was there, what he should be telling Lance. But the words failed to form in his lips. He tried again and again, attempting in his head to formulate another way of saying it. None felt right.

He didn’t know for how long he stayed like that, but when he comes back to himself, Lance’s eyes were watching him curiously.

He didn’t say a word. However, Keith found understanding in his eyes.

Lance didn’t need to be told what he was doing there, he already knew.

 

* * *

* * *

 

_He stares at the void ahead of himself, purple eyes absent, not really focusing on anything._

_Keith doesn’t move when he hears the doors behind him open. He simply remains where he is, sitting on the floor, legs close to his chest while he hugs them with his arms. His chin still rests on top of his knees when whoever entered stands beside him._

_“Are you ok?”_

_It was a stupid question. Futile even, since they both know the answer to it._

_Keith knows he wasn’t expecting an answer. He knows the question was more of a way to make his presence be known, in case he hadn’t heard him walking in._

_So, Keith doesn’t answer._

_“Can I sit next to you?” Hunk asks a moment after._

_It’s the first time Keith moves, tilting his head to look at his friend, standing next to him, unsure if his presence is welcomed or not._

_Keith tries to smile. The look Hunk gives him tells him he didn’t do it quite right. He doesn’t trust his voice after that sad display. Nodding is the option he chooses to let Hunk know he can stay._

_The yellow paladin does._

_He descends to the floor and sits next to Keith, staring at the stars ahead of them, without saying a word. They stay like that for a long while, their breathing the only indication that they’re both still there._

_Keith closes his eyes, leaning slightly to the side, not enough to touch Hunk, yet close enough to feel his warmth. Close enough to feel like he isn’t alone in the cold endless void of space._

_As if he can sense him, Hunk murmurs, “It’s going to be ok…”_

_Keith wants to believe in him, but he can’t._

_He isn’t sure why._


End file.
